Lately I’ve been feeling very out-of-sorts and down on myself. You could say that my depression is in full swing at the moment. This is NOT a good place to be in at any time, but especially when you are trying to get your new life path off to a good start and resisting the reality that you still need to make money. Money is the drive that keeps us going to those jobs we hate every day. Selling our souls and a chunk of our time one minute at a time to some big corporation that could care less about us. Even in small businesses, if what you are doing doesn’t make you happy, then it’s not the right path.
So, back to this depression. New moons are always a good time to release outdated ways of thinking from your life. This new moon however, isn’t just about clearing out your thoughts or your space, but also your feelings. My depression centers around my lack of self confidence. My feelings of being old, fat, and ugly. Unloved and unlovable. Like everyone else on this planet, I need and crave love. I would LOVE to be held in my husbands arms! But because of my age, just the thought of being that close to another live human body makes me feel hot and suffocated. It’s not his fault. It’s my hormones.
Then there is this thing about wanting to get completely out of the accounting business. I only started working as an accountant because I happened to be good at it and it was a way to support my kids and myself when I was a single mom. But, I really don’t like it. Oh, it’s not the actual tasks that bother me. It’s the trading time for money. Having to be at someone elses beck and call during a HUGE chunk of my life. I have a computer and an internet connection. Can’t they just send me the files to work on and I can upload it or email it back? Why do I have to sit in an uncomfortable office to do what I do best? And why can’t I just leave when I’m done?
Anyway, that’ the life I’m trying to let go of. To shed. To release.
So, I cast a spell. A spell to release my fears and doubts and to open myself to new creative possibilities. I figured that with the power of the new moon, releasing my fear and doubt was appropriate. Then, you add in the power of the solar eclipse. The celestial example of taking what is hidden and bringing it out into the light. Thus the request for assistance in coming up with new ways to make money that have NOTHING to do with trading my time for dollars.
Did I use a pre-written spell from one of my many spell books? No. I have found that spells are much more powerful when you write them yourself. The reason is because it forces you to identify what you want and to clarify your intention thus allowing you to actually have feelings when you do them.
How do you write your own spells?
First, you need to identify the goal. It needs to be simple. When you are just starting out, only concentrate on one goal at a time. Make it a small goal. Something that is easily achievable.
Put it into words like this:
Goal: To release my fears and be able to ask for a raise.
Then, write a spell asking your deity to help you to accomplish what you are asking for. You can make it rhyme or not. You can make it like a poem or just a statement, or just a question. Whatever feels right to you.
Then do a little research and find out what day of the week and time of day is best for casting this spell. Do you feel it’s necessary to perform an entire ritual? I don’t usually. But that’s my personal choice. If you are new to spell casting, it’s helpful to perform a full ritual with all the tools at your disposal. The more effort you put into writing and casting the spell, the more of your energy you will put into it as well. And that is the key to having your magick work for you. It must be yours. It must feel right to you. And it must be cast when YOU feel it needs to be cast.
Many people will say that I am out of my mind. Casting spells is serious business and must be done according to the RULES. Well, guess what, we are ALL beings of light. We are ALL connected to the Universal energies that govern everything. My son would say that we are all connected according to rules of Quantum Physics. And what is right for one person may not be right for another.
How’s my depression now that my spell is cast and the new moon has occured? I’m better. And as always, I am surprised at how much better I feel. I actually have hope now. Yesterday I didn’t. So we will have to see how the God and Goddess will help me in manifesting my new life without accounting. Let me just say this, I know I need to make a living to help support our household. And I have had to go back to the only thing I’ve known to work in the past, and that is looking for a full time JOB doing accounting in someone else’s office. Now that I have cast the spell, new opportunities for making a living should start to appear. I just need to pay attention so that I don’t miss them!
What did you do for the the new moon and the eclipse? Anything you would care to share?